Category Archives: Humor

Humor

The Woman Behind The Myth

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Life is full of twists and turns and today, we shall celebrate a twist!

For my steady followers, you might find yourself yawning during this blog but I encourage you to stick around. While you have pieced together my personality through my writings, and I have shared snapshots of my life, we are going to delve into who the woman behind the keyboard really is. I invite you to take a peek.

It’s a bit long, but stay the course.

Besides being a successful blogger, mom, sister, friend, daughter, and business woman, I am also a school board trustee. Interesting, right? If the answer is no, kills me to say but you might want to scroll past this latest post and I promise for continued entertainment in my next blog. Pinky Promise!

To my delight and surprise, I have found that the teachers in my district are directing parents to my blog. Wowza! I’m a lucky girl. I have about 95,000 views on my blog currently and I’m hoping my hometown peeps will push me over that 100k threshold. Repeat after me, YES WE CAN!

Now that I have a new found, extended hometown audience, I just want to give a shout out. Welcome people.

Let me tell you my story, rather than the myth behind the legend. Let’s talk facts.

Like any good Italian mother, my mother drilled certain things into my head and they have carried over to adulthood. Don’t put shoes on the table because it’s bad luck. Don’t open an umbrella in the house. Always tell the truth because the truth is never wrong and be a leader, not a follower.

I grew up as an independent thinker. I never succumbed to peer-pressure and honestly, was never one to follow the crowd for the sake of popularity. I’ve always been a forward thinker, problem solver, peace maker and a strong advocate for the underdog.

I grew up in a broken home with older siblings and my mom. She worked her ass off! She worked full-time and attended college full-time at night all in effort to provide for her four children. Despite being exhausted, and having limited to no funds, she always took me to see local high school plays, ballets and operas. She instilled in me the love of the arts and I share this passion with her.

Before baby #4 came along (that’s me, baby #4) my mother volunteered as a 4H leader and was a Cub Scout leader.  She has and still does have a strong belief in volunteerism.

Growing up, I was always the student that didn’t have a parent in attendance at school events, due to my mother’s working obligations. Since we had no money, I could never participate in after school activities.

For sake of anonymity, I’ll use just first names. Kristin was a year older than me. She was a pretty blonde girl, very popular, perfect family and she strut the halls of our elementary school with her green Girl Scout sash. I wanted a Girl Scout sash too! I ran home to ask my mother if I could be a Girl Scout. Unfortunately, we just didn’t have the money and that couldn’t happen. While disappointed, I never held a thing against my mother. She was doing her best and I appreciated it all.

Everyone WAKE UP! Hopefully you’re not dozing off. There is a reason I’m giving you these examples. I have core beliefs and I contribute them to my upbringing. I’ll refer back to this a little later in my blog, good reason to stick around.

For the sake of time, boredom and a limited word count, let’s fast forward.

My first child was entering kindergarten at the very same school I went to. It was surreal! She would now be walking the same halls I did. Sidebar: I never attended kindergarten because it was part-time back in the day so I was enrolled in full-time daycare. While I did skip kindergarten and can’t attribute that to my uncontested smarts, I did skip 11th grade. (Silent applause lol) 

I knew I wanted to be an involved parent and be part of my daughter’s educational journey, as with all my children. I immediately volunteered for class mom, assisting as the teacher directed. I attended every PTA meeting and my thirst for knowledge and information was palatable. I asked a zillion questions but some just couldn’t be answered.

This is where I made a choice and my path veered toward leadership. I sought information and there was no one there to provide it upon inquiry. So I took it upon myself, to attend educational sessions sponsored by the PTA to learn the rules, guidelines, procedures, and bylaws. I became an encyclopedia. I wanted to share the wealth of information I acquired.

I soon chaired events, held various positions on the PTA executive committee and ultimately was propelled to President. I navigated my way through the schools with parental, teacher and administrative support. We were a team,  all with the same end goal in sight, educating the whole student and making a difference in a child’s life, including my own.

I was a Girl Scout leader for seven years during my daughter’s entire tenure at the elementary school.  I was also a Boy Scout leader though that didn’t last long due to my son’s lack of interest lol! I wanted to afford my children every opportunity that I didn’t have.

If you were to ask those that worked with me, I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that they thought I was fair, knowledgeable, accessible, calm, understanding, compassionate, passionate and student driven.

I made many initiatives with support of the committee I served with that I am enormously proud of and some still continue today. Just a few examples are Red Ribbon Week, PTA teacher grants and after I chaired the auction committee, our PTA solely funded the new basketball courts, benches and all the murals you currently see in the school today.

After exhausting my goals on the PTA, the next natural progression was the School Board. Like PTA, I have been attending school board meetings since my daughter was 5. She is almost 21 now. I listened at these meetings and asked questions. It quickly became apparent at the get go that the big decision making for our children’s education happened at this level. I found it mind boggling that I was sometimes the only parent in attendance.

Are you still with me? Let’s talk school board. Why do I serve?

I am a lifelong advocate and volunteer. I believe serving on the school board is one of the greatest acts of volunteerism. I serve for betterment of our community and as an investment into our future, the children.  This district has educated me and all my children and I want to give back as it has given so much to my family.

I totally believe in lending a voice to those children who do not have one. For the children’s parents who are indigent, for those that have immigrant parents with language barriers, for those with special needs. I want those children’s voices to be heard as well as the general education child.

My childhood has prepared me for all of this. My heart is big, my compassion is boundless and my urgency for inclusion is pressing.

Ok ok ok ok…I’ve gone on and on. Let me catch my breath! Condense Wendy, condense!!! Wrap it up.

While staff or parents may become focused on a specific issue, it is important to recognize that issues come and go within any school district. What is a priority today for a parent or teacher may not be tomorrow.

Being a trustee is a multi-facetted job. It is a fine line as we are elected to represent our constituents but we are employers to the staff of a district. Every decision by a school board is made in the best interest of the student. Sometimes people lose sight of that and become distracted or focused on a single trustee when truth be told, we work and vote as a unit of seven. No one speaks individually for themselves but rather for the board as a whole. We are one voice.

Before I was elected on the school board there were times I got frustrated as a parent and couldn’t understand why an action wasn’t taken when the solution seemed obvious. My blinders came off the minute I walked into that board room on my first day. There are so many moving parts, and confidential information which weighs-in on any decision made by the unit.

We create policy, procedure and the vision for the district. We also have a responsibility to ALL voters; singles, parents, empty nesters, and seniors. We work hard to keep programs intact and our teachers employed all while keeping taxes increases to a minimum.

For those that stand in judgment and wag fingers or look for minutia to attack, ask yourselves, are your actions in the best interest of a student? Are your motives with the student in mind or are your motives clouded by your own agenda?

I’m a fact seeker, let’s throw out some facts about me:

  • I love children.
  • I advocate for children.
  • I believe in educating the whole child.
  • I believe in exposing our children to the arts and thus, fight to keep a very successful theater program in place.
  • I believe in fairness, transparency and truthfulness.
  • I believe in open-mindedness and thinking out of the box.
  • I believe in exposing corruption and untruths.
  • I believe in volunteerism and giving back with no hidden agenda.
  • Lastly, I believe everyone should be an independent thinker, making decisions based on fairness and track record.

What I’ve also been exposed to as a parent, PTA member and board member are that labels get thrown around quickly and quite often unfairly. As in life, not everyone will see eye to eye in the education world. Parents begin to walk on eggshells for fear of being labeled anti-teacher. What’s unfair about this quick call for condemnation is often times; these very parents are the ones whom volunteer in classrooms, volunteer at school events, buy teachers gifts at holiday time and end of the year. These are parents who entrust their children with the teacher day in and day out and rave of their child’s success and growth. These are parents who believe they are taught by outstanding educators and brag to anyone willing to lend an ear. These are parents who want the very best for their child. A disagreement doesn’t constitute an anti-teacher position. Why do I know so much? Sadly, some have attached that label to me.

Wow, Debbie Downer! Ok group hug. Bottom line is I love my children more than life itself. I love my school district which I have been in for 46 years. I love my teachers even though occasionally they don’t always have love for me and I love being your voice on this Board of Education! Each and every vote I cast is not of my individual perspective, it’s a vote I cast for YOU, my constituents, and the actions I believe you would support and want.

So hometown crew, listen up! Rally the troops and get out there on May 17, 2016 and vote for me. Show me the love!

Big thank you to anyone that has read this blog or any other to date! I’m proud of my writing. Teacher’s let me know how I’m doing on grammar, sentence structure etc.. I’m open to it lol! Know that not every blog is for every person but give it a chance, be that independent thinker and maybe, just, maybe you’ll even find that you like them! Peace out!

Bashing the Ex. Is this ever a good idea?

Like any good blogger, I’m inspired by real life events.

Today’s events are brought to me and thus you, via Facebook statuses. It’s actually a pretty regular occurrence in my newsfeed from Facebook friends or in most cases, acquaintances.

It’s the dreaded status that causes me to cringe as I read through it. What am I talking about? It’s the Facebook bashing of their ex-husband (have to be honest, never saw a guy bash his wife on my feed…yet. Good job guys).

Now, I’m not a naïve person nor are those privy to reading these public, written outbursts. Divorce pushes many emotions to the surface such as anger, bitterness, sadness, resentment, disbelief, and fear. I think I’m a reasonable person and understand this.

Whatever the intent of the writer on the reader may be, I still don’t get the public shaming or airing of dirty laundry.

Marriage is daily, constant hard work. No one knows what takes place behind closed doors and personally, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know the details of the demise of the marriage. I have enough problems of my own lol. It becomes burdensome and uncomfortable to read such statuses.

There isn’t a person I know who takes divorce lightly. There had to be some significant issues in that marriage for it to end.

Here’s where I differ from the women who take to their social media to publically whip their ex’s. Regardless of the circumstances of what caused the breakdown of your marriage. Regardless, whether you think this guy is the biggest dick in the world. You have children together!!! At one point in your life, you loved this person. Because you have children together, you are forever connected.

When I awkwardly read the statuses airing personal, intimate issues, I notice that most times the children are Facebook friends with the parent spewing such rants. I’m not sure how this is beneficial to the kids. If children’s well being comes first, how is this in their best interest? I swear, I don’t get it!

Well, now’s a good of time as any. Why don’t I get it? Who am I to judge? Well, I just went through a divorce. I guarantee my friend’s jaws just dropped reading this. LOL to that! Hi guys! I guess this is a public outing of me.

I can’t imagine talking disparagingly about the father of my children. I’ve spent half my life with him and my kids deserve a quality relationship with him, without it being tainted by any negative remarks from me. My relationship with him is separate from his relationship with the kids. Go ahead, read that last sentence of brilliance one more time.

I, like every other parent, want my children to thrive and be happy.  If my kid’s dad is happy, my kids are happy. I wish him health and happiness always. Why wouldn’t I? He’s an extension of my kids. We divorced each other, neither of us divorced our kids.

The onus is on the parent. We are the role models. Children model our behavior both good and bad. Choose wisely.

Lastly, I can guarantee whatever reaction these women are trying to illicit; most likely it is having a negative effect and alienating many. There are the few commenters who encourage the public shaming which seems to be a driving force for the bad behavior to continue.  Not a fan.

I wish everyone who participates in public shaming their ex on social media,  for the sake of their kids, their Facebook friends, anyone exposed to reading their bullshit statuses would just STOP and STFU.  Here’s my unsolicited advice for anyone out there reading this and more specifically, are guilty of the above. Thank me later.

I get that things will happen during the divorce that will infuriate you, but rise above it.

I get that you may have been hurt or blindsided, but rise above it.

I get that you have fear of the unknown, but rise above it

Bottom line is for the sake of the children…rise above it all! 

 

 

Beach Pet Peeves

My sanctuary is the beach. I find myself living through the frigid, wintry months begrudgingly and only lighten up when summer rears her head from the cold, darkness.

Everything is better at the beach. If I’m feeling down, the warmth of the sun beaming down on my face enveloping me with her sunshine brightens up my day both literally and figuratively. It’s a place I seek peace, solace and quiet….or one might think.

That all sounds very Hallmark-ish but it’s far from what I experience when my toes hit the sand. Stick with me for a few minutes and I’ll point out my biggest pet peeves at the beach. If you find yourself guilty of anything listed hereafter know you suck so bad!

  1. The close sitter – There are miles and miles of open space, not a soul in sight but you are going to plant your chair within arm’s reach of where I have tethered myself. MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
  2. Table for one please – If you see me at the beach by myself, why oh why oh why, are you and your children sitting, kicking, playing or screaming anywhere near me. I am alone for a reason. I didn’t come to the beach to inherit a family.
  3. Please STFU – When you’re talking on your cell phone, guess what? I can hear you and so can everyone else! How cute that you think you are having a private conversation at the beach. Well newsflash, your voice carries on the beach and your conversation is now between you, the caller and everyone within two stones throw. Also, if you see me sitting alone, you and your best girlfriend who plan on talking the ENTIRE time shouldn’t be anywhere near me. I can hear every friggin word you say. SHUT UP and leave me alone!
  4. Keep the bread to yourself – Oh here’s a fan favorite. I’m lying peacefully on my blanket, earbuds blasting music in my head when suddenly it’s Alfred Hitchock’s The Bird’s movie in reality. I open my eyes to find seagulls swarming over my head and near my blanket because you thought it was a good idea not to waste your sandwich and/or chips and to put them to good use feeding the birds. Try this…DON’T FEED THE F’G BIRDS because they never, ever go away. We have now put a bullseye on our beach space.
  5. Run Faster – Mother Nature sometimes puts a little twist on our somewhat perfect beach day. She may grace us on scorching hot days with a welcomed breeze. Sure granules of sand may get in our eyes, blinding us. We may end up with sand in some unwanted areas but we accept our fate on days like this. What I can’t accept is someone’s umbrella hurling across the open sandlot with the umbrella owner barely moving. Suddenly beach goers are grabbing their children to safety and we are dodging umbrellas because you can’t move fast enough to grab it. Fine, I accept the fact that you lost control of your shade piece, however run faster and get your God damn umbrella. I’m all for helping someone out but I shouldn’t have to put my Flo Jo on just to grab your shit. You should be keeping pace with me.
  6. Parking for dummies – We’ve all done it. We drive up and down each aisle of the parking lot looking for a good spot. We find one, only to see a car has parked out of bounds of the white designated lines. Now you have fucked up a legitimate, coveted spot at the beach because (1) you’re too lazy to fix your half-assed parking job (2) you’re in a rush (3) you’re a douche.
  7. Head’s up – It’ s ok to walk past my blanket just don’t be a jerkoff. Here’s where the problem lies. You see me lying, perhaps even sleeping on my blanket. Yet, this doesn’t deter you or your offspring from walking, jogging or running within a few inches of my blanket kicking sand on me, my blanket and all my shit.
  8. Everyone out of the water – Rules are the rules. If you hear the whistle blow, get out of the water. Simple, no? Apparently not. Why must the lifeguard blow the whistle ten times for you to know to get out of the water? People are flocking to get out of the water. The lifeguard is frantically waving his arms to come in and there you are bobbing in the waters oblivious to all. Wake the f up!
  9. Diaper Patrol – The summer is hot. The beach is hot. When you change your baby’s poop diaper and you throw it in the metal mesh garbage can know that we ALL smell it on the down wind. OMG throw the dirty, poopy baby diapers in the bathroom. Whyyyyyy don’t people know to do this? Mind blown once again.

The list could go on and on for those that practice bad beach etiquette. The point is, why don’t some people know about this etiquette? I thought it was universal but I’m learning with each beach visit that it’s not. I mean I love kids. I love people. I love talking. But know that when you see a singleton at the beach, they are there by themselves for a reason. Try and be respectful of other’s and have a little self-awareness.

If you read this list and you’re guilty of even one transgression, STOP that shit! It’s not too late to be a friendly, silent, non-written rule follower. On behalf of all the leave me alone, I hate the world, I want silence beach goers…thank you.

Be the Ringleader of Your Life – my commencement speech to an elementary school 

It is an honor to have the opportunity to speak to our graduating class today as you complete an important step in your educational  journey that will continue your entire life. I thought about where one might learn life lessons outside of the classroom but can easily be applied to your journey in school, and the circus came to mind. 

When I think of the circus, I think of the lions in the cage, twinkling lights, the big top, the clowns and trapeze artists.

Beyond the wonderment of the sights and sounds, a lot of things happen under the big top. In many ways, the circus is a metaphor for life. We experience a range of emotions as we take in what’s before us. One minute we are laughing, and the next we are holding our breath in fear and anticipation. Let’s pull back the curtain and see what life lessons we can find amongst the stardust:

Be the Ringmaster of your life. It’s your life. The ringmaster controls the show at center stage. While you can’t control everything in your life, there are certainly times you have the power to direct it. You can choose to study for a test. You can choose the people you do or don’t want in your life.  And just as importantly, you can choose the type of person or friend you want to be. Choose wisely.

You’re on a tightrope. Keep your balance. Just as an acrobat walks across the tightrope and tries to balance successfully across it, you must find the balance in your life. Find a place for everything in your life, school work, friends and extracurricular activities. While school work will increase in the next phase of your journey, so will the chance to meet new people and join in more after school activities.

Toss your hat in the ring. Get involved. The circus is wonderful to watch, but even more fun to participate in. Don’t sit on the sidelines as a spectator. Challenge yourself to push your limits. Take the risk. Perhaps you want to try a sport you never tried before. Perhaps there is a club that interests you. Middle school is filled with resources. This is an ideal time to tap into these opportunities.

Like the trapeze artists, you’ll need a sturdy net. You will need back-up. No matter how much you try to be balanced, there will be times you make mistakes, slip and fall. This is part of life. You need to acquire a network of people who will help dust you off and put you on the right path. Your new team of teachers and guidance counselors will be there to prepare you and support you at MAMS during your time there. But the strongest net you will have will be your parents and family because they will catch you each and every time.

Like the clowns in the circus, it’s important to take a moment and laugh about things. Seriousness has its place, but it’s good to take the time to laugh with your friends and enjoy every experience that comes your way in middle school.

The lion tamer faces his fears each time he steps foot in the enclosed cage. So must you face your fears and take risks, knowing that you can learn to tame a lion, too When new challenges and unfamiliar circumstances are in front of you, don’t run but rather face your fears. Feel empowered to initiate a conversation with a teacher or a coach, or to ask a question. Be confident in who you are. It’s ok to speak up for yourself and even better, for those that won’t or can’t for themselves. Take all the lessons you learned at Camp Avenue and apply them in middle school. Be kind, be caring, be inclusive, and most importantly work up to your full potential.

Life is very much like the circus. It’s filled with the unexpected, the exciting and sometimes anticipation of the unknown. It’s a lot to take in but if you look closely beyond the glitter, you will see wisdom and magic that awaits you at every new milestone. You will continue to learn and grow throughout your educational journey. The spectators of your life, your family, friends and teachers, will celebrate with you each step of the way. After today, you will have your ticket, walk into the arena, head held high and embrace all the great things that away you in middle school.

On behalf of the North Merrick Board of Education we sadly and proudly say goodbye and on behalf of the central high school board of education we welcome you, congratulations to our class of 2015

I Want To Like Football, I Really Do

I want to like football. I really do. Each year, I set a goal to like football and each year it’s an epic fail.

I feel forced to like football because, well, that’s mostly what’s on TV from September to February. As I flip through the stations, football clogs the airways. So like a good American, I succumb and land myself on a football game, like today for insistence.

As I type, the Jet’s vs. Steelers game is on. Here’s a peek inside my mind. (I convince myself you’re interested). First thing I notice are the uniforms. My likeability of a team depends on how pretty their uniforms are. I’ve decided I’m partial to the Vikings and the Saints because of their colors, logos and uniforms. Seems like a reasonable way to pick a favorite team, for me at least. I also notice cute guys in uniform and I’m not mad about that. (My list isn’t necessarily in order lol).

Here’s where things fall apart for me. I’m watching and watching and watching. Guy gets the ball. He runs as hard and fast as he can into a crowd of big guys, (correction, not big guys but abnormally large, strong, Adonis men) that want to pummel him, jump on him, land on him, tackle him and hurt him. Me personally, I’d run and stop just a foot short of the gathered crowd, throwing my hands up in surrender to sacrifice myself avoiding my imminent doggie pile tackle. Each play is only seconds long, and then repeat. Complete snooze fest over here for me. My only moment of reprise is when a player scores a touchdown and does a little dance. Not even the biggest football hater can deny that’s fun to watch.

When my youngest boy started playing football last year, I thought things would surely change for me. After all, I was watching my son play and what’s better than that? Well, I tried. I did. I tried being interested. I watched play after play never peeling my eyes away from #95, my little guy.

While I watched his every play and endured almost two hours of watching a sport I clearly didn’t understand nor liked, I still couldn’t tell you one thing that happened in that time frame. What I can tell you is that it made me happy to watch him play despite not knowing fully what was going on. In the end though, who cares? I was there to watch my son play, have a good time and succeed. All which were accomplished.

So while my love of football may not fully evolve, I’ll still appreciate those that play the game, love the game and are committed to the game. I might have to admit that I’m the girl that will always be the fair weathered football fan who simply tunes in once a year during Super Bowl tethered to the TV to finally watch the much hyped about commercials and half time show. Maybe next year I’ll like football. Bring on baseball season.

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Tale of a White Girls Weave

Black girls have weaves. I’m not sure when I learned this but it’s been a useless fact floating in my brain for who knows how long.

Here’s what I didn’t know. White girl’s have weaves too. This fact came to me via three of my closest friends. One day they had shoulder length hair, the next, they were Rapunzel. Amazing.

Let’s add one more fun fact to the mix. Black guys don’t know that white girls have weaves. This I know first hand. Let me paint the picture. My girlfriends and I were out dancing. A black guy friend went to put his hand on top of my girlfriends head. At that point, his facial expression was pure wonderment as he uttered “I didn’t know Snowflakes have weaves”. He then hurled himself over in laughter.

Let’s proceed. One girlfriend has a weave which is transfused with her natural hair. My second girlfriend has a removable weave. How do I know it’s removable? Well, after a night of dancing, she will not only rip off her eyelashes tossing them into the barren parking lot but she will then pull out her weaves placing them in her purse or car console.

Let’s just litter this blog with facts. White guys don’t know white girl’s have removable weaves. Here’s how I know. Again, we were out on the town for the night ordering drinks at the bar at which point the nice gentlemen next to us asks my friend a question. He turns his head to grab his own drink as he waits for her reply. After returning his eyes back on her, perplexed he asks “where did your hair go”. To which she replies “I put it in my pocketbook”.

Lastly, did you know that white girl’s weave’s shed? Well I didn’t either. This is how I came into the know. Last night we went dancing. (we don’t go out nearly as much as it seems, but this is where the weave stories really take root! Pun intended). Black girls sat in the chairs along the wall as the white girls cut up the dance floor. Not an issue for us since we think we are black girls at heart.

It was when the white guys started battling each other that we noticed them dancing around pieces, no let me correct that, chunks of hair on the floor. Not just chunks of hair. You guessed it. White girl weave had come unraveled and pieces were scattered on the dance floor. It seemed to be the theme of the night for these young men to dance around the detached weave hair. The black boys took a different approach. They liked to dance and kick the long strands of displaced weave hair.

Know what I learned in that moment as the black girls looked on in horror and who were judging us so hard on our dancing that night? Black girls definitely don’t know white girl’s have weaves.

Why Do Some Baseball Parents Have To Be Assholes?

I love baseball. It is not only America’s favorite pass time but mine as well. I love everything about this sport. I’ve heard some (unreasonable) people say that baseball is boring. I don’t get it. It’s a game filled with anticipation. I wonder what will the pitcher throw, a ball or a strike. Will the batter swing? Will the defense react in time to catch the ball? Lastly, will the ump make a good call?

Much to my delight, my oldest boy plays baseball and, dare I say, he’s pretty decent. Baseball combined with one of the loves of my life translates into a pretty happy momma. Watching him play ball is my favorite thing in the world to do.

Naturally, attending his games has exposed me to all kinds of parents. Here’s the thing. Why do some baseball parents have to be assholes?

I’m a true believer in encouraging a kid or a team, positive reinforcement. It was only two games ago when I had to listen to an opponent parent scream “drop it” or “strike him out”. Of course, this made me want to gorge his eyeballs out. I thought everyone read the parent rulebook that says, lead by example and you’re kids are likely to follow in your footsteps. Clearly some folks missed that chapter.

To my delight, this parent was ejected from the game the very next inning for yelling at the ump for what he perceived was a “bad” call. The guy was a Mensa genius because a scout was there for his kid. While his kid made a few errors (all kids do..WAKE UP!), I’m sure the scout walked away with a sense of what comes with that kid to college. A troublesome parent. I imagine, it is every coach’s nightmare. Ball players are a dime a dozen. Dump the kid with the loudmouth parent, and go back to the litter.

Kids are never the problem neither in baseball nor in sports in general. It’s the lunatic parents that accompany them and they ruin it for their child. Mr. Douchebag’s kid actually hit an amazing grand slam the following game but I refused to give him the satisfaction of a compliment. The kid certainly deserved accolades for a beautiful shot to center field but the parent was a gloating jerk.

At a recent game, the opposing team’s catcher got ejected from the game. It was crass weather conditions and he was trying to delay the game which was duly noted by the officials. Low and behold, the catcher (probably standing 6’2”) then went after the umpires. Here’s the question. Where were his parents? I would have ripped my kid off the field then had him apologize to EVERYONE. Nope. The parent watched the events unfold from the sidelines and only after the fact, walked away with him. For God’s sake!

I try to make a point of congratulating a parent when their son does well. That’s pretty much come to a halt with some people. If I say “great job”, I don’t then need you to rattle off your son’s stats. ANNOYING! Just absorb the compliment and relish in it. Don’t become a bragging douchebag. Or if I say, “which one is your son?“, I don’t need to hear “starting opening day pitcher” or “he’s a starter”. Please just shut the fuck up and say my kid is on the mound or my kid is in center. Geez!

I’ve been on teams where the parents on the SAME team were talking shit about other teammates kids, in front of the other parents no less. Seriously, how can anyone think that is okay? That leads to a lot of hurt feelings. Idiots!

It’s baseball. It’s a game. Chill the fuck out! You don’t have to scream at plays. Remember, when you act like an asshole, you ruin the game for the people exposed to your bad behavior. If we allow ourselves to be realistic, chances are, your child won’t be playing pro-ball. Be happy your kid has playing time, sit back and enjoy.

Maybe I should comprise a book on parent baseball etiquette. It seems like common sense, but it’s apparent that some are lacking that sense. Be a gracious parent, thanking those paying your child a compliment. Just watch the game, cheering on your kid and his team. No one wants to hear your bullshit, least of all me!